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Along comes the Web, and I dropped into this world in which I believed my body would be accepted. It suddenly gave me a freedom to meet with men in a way that I’d never experienced before.”Mayes believes that when it came to the stereotypical sexual aesthetic of the gay man, the digital realm had much to recommend it.“The gay world seems to lend itself to this idea of sharing stuff,” he insists. It has that reputation: open relationships, sharing partners, etcetera.
“There was a social stigma,” says Mayes, “and, more importantly, legal issues in taking your film to the lab.(In 1997, Mike Myers, with a debt to Wilhelm Reich—and to films such as . In the fantasy forums called MUDs, it was sometimes called Tiny Sex, as Sherry Turkle would note in her 1995 book , discussing early “computer-mediated screen communications for sexual encounters. as people typing messages with erotic content to each other, ‘sometimes with one hand on the keyset, sometimes with two.’ ”Along came CD-ROMs and DVDs—interactive discs that could be slipped into a disk drive or game console—which allowed users to issue simple commands and choose various options or outcomes in their sexual entertainment.But for a species that now got its babies from test tubes, why shouldn’t a geek try to get his ya-yas out by way of Alpha Centauri? An Internet list of ‘Frequently Asked Questions’ describes the latter activity . There were Internet forums where people could post erotic stories (or add to others’ stories)—many of which would evolve into multipart series—that would attract tremendous followings.There were hatchling websites that stole printed porn pictures and posted them as their own; sites that featured virtual strip blackjack; sites where online models popped up in tiny matchbook-size peep-holes, responding to keyboard commands (“How about removing those fish-nets? The Internet began to micropander to every type of sexual connoisseur.One of the earliest Net-sex horror stories involved an online skeeve who turned out to be a con artist. One of the West Coast leaders of sex-positive feminism, Bright in the early 1990s had left her job editing .By the end of the story, as you can imagine, he turned out to be a con artist.
He [had seemed] really, sincerely interested in her—‘We’re going to have dates and so on’—and then he had these emergencies where she had to send him money. But by then she was so in love with him, so infatuated with their virtual affair: they’d had phone sex; they’d done so much [online].
This elasticity unleashed a new freedom to experiment, fantasize, and role-play.
As the digital age bloomed, sexual variety reigned.
Algorithms that had been designed to sift through a voluminous database of attributes listed in members’ profiles would sort and rank potential partners’ likelihood of attraction and relationship longevity.
Individual subscribers would then be presented with a slate of possible dates who, in time, might be possible mates.
My friend Stephen Mayes, a respected photo editor and champion of photojournalists, insists that the Web had a largely salutary effect on the sex lives and love lives of many gay men.