Listen in on adult chats

02-Jul-2016 14:33 by 5 Comments

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The issues become how much time to spend together and how to spend it, how much information to share and about what, which battles to fight and when to turn the other cheek, what advice to give and when silence is golden.In interviews for our forthcoming book, When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?

And when they do settle on a partner, accept that it follows naturally for them to put that person first.Her report: "My knees hurt, but I learned so much about them." Jigsaw puzzles work for the less athletic, according to another mother of three sons ages 18 to 25.Heart-to-hearts follow their shared searches for matching pieces.If conflict does start to escalate, dial it down by listening to them without interrupting and then commenting in a neutral tone.When that's not possible, taking a time-out for both sides to calm down is as useful at this stage as it was during their toddler years.Emerging adults need a different kind of closeness than when they were young.

They need emotional support that helps boost, not stifle, their confidence in their own coping skills, and they need parents to bear witness to their increasing capacity to take on responsibilities, even if there are setbacks or mishaps along the way.Restraint is the elusive virtue now required of you, to keep from giving too much unwelcome advice or asking too many nosy questions.After years of hands-on parenting, you may bristle at how often you must bite your tongue as your children make both smart and foolish decisions.Parents still may be tempted to give unsolicited advice, do whatever's needed to protect kids from harm — and remind them to get car insurance.And grown kids may be frustrating friends who don't return parents' calls, cancel dates at the last minute or text their buddies while dining with the family.Plus, they're better able to see the other person's point of view.